an unknown nostalgia

an unknown nostalgia


Eyes closed, I turn my face out to the wind,
The waves rock my feet, out in the open sea.
The land to my back, the horizon to the front,
Moving on, why does my heart not feel free?

To move forward, my heart flutters like a lamb,
What is holding me back, chains that I cannot see?
Even when I’ve gone away and come so far ahead,
Why do I feel I have been left behind, an absentee?

The clouds rush over my head
They flutter and wave to me
I know not what they try to say
To come with them, they plea

Why does my heart feel empty instead of full?
Does it not want me to go on this adventure?
Why can’t I enjoy the view when it is so beautiful?
Does the sadness ruin it, makes it obscure?

Possessions, treasure, money, and wealth
All I have brought with me, safe by my side.
And I have good food, and excellent health.
What do I fear losing then? I cannot decide.

The entire journey I yearned, but found little peace,
I had trouble sleeping, and some sleepless nights.
I walked in the night air, amidst the calm open sea,
Though I tried, the calmness would not get in me.

When I reached the port, I saw some flying geese,
How they kept together, in celebrations and in fights.
I saw the people who had come to receive dear ones,
I saw their eyes shine in joy with blessed little lights.

How I wished to see those lights shine for me,
To be the one who draws in such company!
To talk with such joy, as to make my heart free.
To ask where they’re going, and accompany.

This reminded me of companions back home.
Friends, yes, that was the answer to this mystery.
I could not turn and go back, but write a tome.
On how much I loved and missed them, a history.

I said thus to the passing songbirds,
“Keep me in your hearts if you will,
For I will cetainly come back one day.
I love you and us, together and apart.
Let us be this way, come what may"