lost in myself

sometimes it feels as if I'm not myself
by Harshvardhan J. Pandit
emotional poem

The reality is a simulation
There is no me, just a facsimile
The strings have been cut
There is no score of dignity

What have I become?

The mirror lies
The reflection is untrue
I am no longer myself
Things that I cannot undo

Where am I now?

Unwary eyes all around
None that look at me
I've been hiding inside
Waiting to be let free

Who is it that controls me?

The pain is there, here
Inside, deeper, it subverts
I can feel it, Always
I am so numb it hurts

How do I let it go?

Every morning is a fresh start
Waking up into a new existence
The me from yesterday
Ashes nourish resistance

When will I return?

Maybe I am lost, Forever
Maybe I no longer exist
Maybe I should forget
Maybe I should no longer insist